Sometimes Bigger is just Bigger

I don't care what the general public says, sometimes bigger is just bigger.  I'm talking about breasts people.  Big boobs are a freaking pain.  A pain in your pocketbook, a pain in your back, and a pain to fit into a damn sports bra.  Let's be honest here.  After a you reach a certain size a sports bra offers zero assistance and just becomes an incredibly uncomfortable, tight, hideous piece of clothing. 

Now in my case my largess is partly (mostly) my fault from packing on the pounds during my last decade of stuff-your-face Olympics.  Nevertheless I still want to complain a little.  This week during my cross-training workout class we had a station of jumping jacks which is pure torture.  Of course  in preparation I doubled my sports bra's in the hopes of keeping those ladies contained; sacrificing my ability to breathe and pride while I walked around with a giant uni-boob for the next 2 hours.  Jeeze Louise.  I was so packed into that thing, fat rolls bursting out at the seams ... like a walking time bomb ready to explode.  A walking time-boob if you will.

Speaking of exploding .. When I finally got a chance to release myself from it's constraints, I unhooked one clasp and that thing whipped off of me so fast it almost took my damn eye out!  Can you imagine trying to explain your new glass eye to your friends and family?  "Well you see ... ummm ... those rascally sports bra clasps are super sharp and ummm ..."  Yeah.  I don't think so.

Oh how I miss those A Cup bra days.  Minus the braces, acne and rat-tail mushroom haircut (don't ask).

Keeping up with the Kardash-a-blah-flah-flah-ans

After serious consideration I firmly believe that the Kardashian's are a cult.  A stiletto wearing, Pantene commercial hair, designer clothes as tight as a second skin, pocketbooks bigger than my steamer trunk, spanxed within an inch of their life, cult.  It's ridiculous.  They are everywhere.  Everywhere you say?  Every-freaking-where.  It's bananas I tell you.  What really floors me is how they can walk around in those 100 inch heels every day?  Even the 13 year old sisters who dress like they are 20 have them on.  What we aren't seeing in the tabloid magazine photos is a handler nearby ready to catch them when they wobble backwards.  I bet as soon as they are out of sight they have on a pair of Keds faster than you can say Chanel.  Sometimes I wonder if they are really all just robots or aliens that slip on a perfectly made up suit to hit Rodeo Drive and all the hottest clubs in Beverly Hills.  No human can look that good all the time.  It's just not normal. 

I wonder if I can get one of those suits.

For Blog's Sake

OK - Here we go.

Since it took me about 30 minutes to just set up a very plain blog site thingy, I think it's safe to say that I am in need of some technological training in just about everything.  It seems that everyone has a blog now and when I've read some of my friend's they look so cool and they write about fun and interesting things.  This morning I was reading (spying) a new blog I found thru another friend and I thought to myself .... Hey Self!  You've got super neat things to talk about, places you've been and words of wisdom that you could share; so get started on your own blog woman!  Now that I've started one, I really don't have anything super neat to say and my words of wisdom have escaped me.  Whoops.

It's a beautiful Friday morning here on the coast and anything can happen.  Let's get this day started ...