Sometimes Bigger is just Bigger

I don't care what the general public says, sometimes bigger is just bigger.  I'm talking about breasts people.  Big boobs are a freaking pain.  A pain in your pocketbook, a pain in your back, and a pain to fit into a damn sports bra.  Let's be honest here.  After a you reach a certain size a sports bra offers zero assistance and just becomes an incredibly uncomfortable, tight, hideous piece of clothing. 

Now in my case my largess is partly (mostly) my fault from packing on the pounds during my last decade of stuff-your-face Olympics.  Nevertheless I still want to complain a little.  This week during my cross-training workout class we had a station of jumping jacks which is pure torture.  Of course  in preparation I doubled my sports bra's in the hopes of keeping those ladies contained; sacrificing my ability to breathe and pride while I walked around with a giant uni-boob for the next 2 hours.  Jeeze Louise.  I was so packed into that thing, fat rolls bursting out at the seams ... like a walking time bomb ready to explode.  A walking time-boob if you will.

Speaking of exploding .. When I finally got a chance to release myself from it's constraints, I unhooked one clasp and that thing whipped off of me so fast it almost took my damn eye out!  Can you imagine trying to explain your new glass eye to your friends and family?  "Well you see ... ummm ... those rascally sports bra clasps are super sharp and ummm ..."  Yeah.  I don't think so.

Oh how I miss those A Cup bra days.  Minus the braces, acne and rat-tail mushroom haircut (don't ask).