A Chuckle A Day

Laughing is one of my most favorite things and it is something that I do on a regular basis whether someone is with me or not.  I'll be just cruising down the road and will start to think of something that happened years ago, and suddenly I am in full blown hysterics all over again.  Personally I think I have a decent laugh but have noticed that my "laughing traits" have changed thru the years.  Am I a pretty laugher? (Is this even a word?)  Absolutely not, but I put in the effort and hopefully get points for that.  As my friends know I start with a good giggle which evolves into a more hearty/slight cackle with a head throw back, and for the real doozies I go into a full on silent but crying laugh with sporadic snorts.  This can last for an extended period of time where I will randomly get tickled and start this process all over again should I think of it later in the day.

Another one of my favorite things to do is visit a local Hallmark to read all the funny cards and just crack up; this can go on all day.  Growing up my sister Katherine and I would stop in Hallmark and then spend the next hour reading (out loud) cards to each other from across the store absolutely in tears from laughing so hard.  After we had totally screwed up the placement of each card in the "Funny" section we would stop over at the good ol Baskin Robbins for a double scoop of chocolate and peanut butter ice cream, in a cup.  Please and Thank You!  Gosh I loved doing that!  Those were the days when greeting cards were actually funny, instead of now when they are just down right terrible.  Who knew the one that says "I looked all around the world and all I could find was this card" had such an extended self life?  It wasn't funny in 1969 and still isn't today.  Geesh.  Why doesn't Chelsea Handler, Jimmy Fallon or Tina Fey have a line of greeting cards?  Those would be money.

While I'm on the subject of laughing I will share 2 awesome memories of mine.  Gosh I'm getting tickled just thinking of them again.  The first one is the time I had some friends over and we were playing tag in the pitch black darkness inside my house.  (Don't ask, I have no idea why we thought this would work)  I had just gotten my multi-colored heart comforter so it must've been when I was in junior high;  my bed was situated a little off center from my bedroom door to where you would walk in and then step to the left to jump on the bed.  Anywho, there I was laying on the floor furthest from the door beside my bed while my friend Kelly was in Black Knight stealth mode in search for everyone.  (hee hee this is hilarious)  There I am barely breathing when I hear her creeping into my room, and with a leap she exclaimed "AH HA!!" only to totally miss my bed and land with a ferocious thud on the floor.  Oh my goodness it was stupendous.  Poor girl, it had to hurt but good Lord it was pure comedy.  The second one (God this is fantastic) was when my sister and I were playing flashlight tag (again in the pitch black darkness) with some kids at my Dad's company cookout.  So there we are crouched down along with this other guy, when he turns to Katherine and I and whispers "shhhh you stay here, I'll be right back".  Poor fella stands, turns and Carl Lewis' himself directly into a huge pine tree.  You cannot even imagine the hysterical fits that came over Katherine and I.  Unbelievable.

After a recent Facebook post of mine prompted my "friends" to mention some hilarious things that I had forgotten, I thought it would be fun to write some down for a nice Saturday laugh.   

• My 8th grade mushroom haircut with 5 inch rat tail.  Horrific
• The time my tire came off my VW golf and bounded down Main Street in Hope Mills during the bumper to bumper traffic from the 4th of July firework festival.
• Senior trip to Florida while swimming in the ocean.  I jumped up out of a wave, my bikini top did not.
• Sneaking back into my house on Range Rd and scraping all the skin off the front of my legs climbing back into my window.  Damn cedar siding.
• Jumping up on stage at Michelle Gillis' wedding reception and dancing/lip synching to Tequilla.  Totally unsolicited entertainment.  To this day I don't know why I did that.
• A quick bathroom break in the woods driving home from Fuquay with Misty Gillis and my husband.  I returned with a man-eating spider on my back.  Us 3 running around the car screaming while they are hitting me and the spider.
• Driving my sister and her friend to school one foggy morning.  Pulled onto the road and straight into our school bus who didn't have on their lights.  People wrote Hey Sally on the fogged up bus windows.  Oh yeah, and the driver was my lunch lady that day. 
• Nightly shows in Greenville of me singing and dancing to Passionate Kisses by Mary Chapin Carpenter to Steph, Misty, Shannon and our entire apartment complex.  Still have no idea why I did this.
• Riding bikes with Trey down the main street in  Southport after the 4th of July parade, when our handlebars crossed and I went face first into the pavement in front of the entire state of NC.  Thank goodness I had been drinking all day, helped with the pain.
• Trying to give myself a bikini wax.  Enough said.
• My bachelorette party in Myrtle, I got on stage and danced at Senior Frogs to Mustang Sally.  good grief
• First keg stand on Brent Road, trying to look cool in front of all the cute NC State boys.  Went up, came down and puked all over the guy in front of me.  classy
• Jumping on the back of some creepy old man's Harley at Laura's beach house, burned my leg on the exhaust on the way home.  Soaked my leg in the keg barrel and kept on drinking.  2nd degree burns. 
• Dancing on top of the table for my 21st birthday at the beach and showing everyone in the restaurant my panties.  On purpose I think which is even worse.
• Started sliding backward down the slope on my ski's, a darn tree branch when up the back of my jacket and thru the collar.  I was stuck in a hole like that until Trey stopped laughing and helped me, all the while our family was laughing down from the ski lift overhead.
• Slid down the ski slope backwards again and down into a deep ditch for the light poles in a pike position.  Stayed like that until Trey stopped laughing and helped me out.
• Tried to be a smarty pants and cut thru the parking lot at Tweetsie only to step waist deep into a mud hole.  Again was stuck until everyone stopped laughing.