Gossip - noun. Idle talk or rumor, especially about the personal or private affairs of others: the endless gossip about Hollywood stars
Let me be the first to admit that I am a gossip whore. Yes I am. It is a terrible flaw and something I am not proud of, but I love hearing about other people and their private affairs, regardless if I know them personally or not. Could not care less. I can't help it. Some people collect bobblehead dolls or shoes, I collect gossip. It doesn't necessarily need to be all kinds of crazy drama gossip even though that is what I prefer. No, I am quite happy knowing that somebody from another town, that I will never meet, just broke their leg jumping across a busy highway on a pogo stick. Thrilled. Love it. Tell me more. What's the best about gossip is that no one will admit they enjoy hearing and delivering it; that by admitting you are a bona-fide Gossip Junkie it will land you on the local Leper list. Heck no Sista! Come sit by me and tell me something good.
I look over all of the tattler websites for the latest celebrity news, flip thru the People and US Magazines while standing in the checkout line and comb my local newspaper for the Crime Section so I can be updated on all the latest delinquent news in my small town. Small towns are the best. We all complain about how everyone knows your personal business but sometimes it can come in handy. Isn't it good to be in the know? And I just can't get enough of the latest Jennifer Aniston boyfriend saga. Does she really have a boyfriend? Are she and Courtney Cox on the outs? Could there be a Brad and Jen secret liaison in the future? I need to know these things. Sometimes I catch myself discussing what dress Anne Hathaway should have worn for the Oscars and that I prefer seeing her in deep hues as if I am her personal stylist. Goodness I am nuts. Of course there are strict gossip rules that must be followed. If someone tells you to not tell another soul, you totally can't. Except maybe your husband because you are dying to tell someone and husbands never listen to you anyway. (I would never do that) Nope, just having my gossip tank full of delicious tidbits about some woman who is in your neighbor's Sunday School class, that was busted smoking a joint in the non-fiction section of the local library, with the twin brother of the Mayor who just got home from Rikers during the 4th of July parade is right up my alley. Don't care if I never meet them, it's just good to know.
That is why I love me some Facebook. Yes indeedy. There is nothing better than to log on after a crap day and see someone's relationship melt down Jerry Springer style all over Facebook for the world to see. Naturally it is also great to reconnect with old friends and to see pictures of their sweet family and all of the incredible spots they have visited because they actually finished college and have a super cool job and travel all over the world to places you'll never go because you are a loser but you really aren't jealous because that would be so lame. Sorry, I got off track. A shout-out to your kids is a must and some updates of an amazing weekend too, but I can do without the hourly my husband is awesome and words of wisdom. It makes my week watching someone come completely undone (like myself) on a daily basis. Aren't we all a little zany? It can't just be me. Yes please, on your horribly embarrassing weekend that someone else had to update you on because you funneled one too many Natty Lites. Oh, and don't forget the pictures! I'll need those so I can call the other Gossip Queens and we can discuss that halter top you wore and your 14 yr old daughter's mini skirt that you had no business wearing.
This summer will be a scorcher and you know how crazy people get in the heat. Umm Hmm. I'm counting on it.
Love it!
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