IamstillwearingmaternityclothesandIhaven'tbeenpregnantin6years
As incredibly painful it is to admit that, it is most definitely true. You want to know the most horribly awful thing about it? I loaned my maternity wardrobe to my sister-in-law and then 5 years later when she returned it to pass along to others, I didn't put the clothes in the attic .... I just put them back on my body! And they fit! Talk about depressing. Uggh. I'm not crazy and I knew that I was wearing them again but it really didn't hit me how pathetic it was until a few days ago at the ballfield. There I was chatting with other team moms thinking to myself how cute they all looked in little summery tops and shorts with snazzy sandals; all the while I had on my Mamba Jamba Big Momma tent of a tee-shirt, a maternity jean skirt and maternity undergarments. Really Sally?! Hellz Bellz. AND to top it off, instead of packing that entire wardrobe up and walking the 5 miles to the local Thrift Store to drop it off I thought .. Hey! I should put this on my blog! It's sick I tell ya. S I C K.
It's my husbands fault for this extreme abuse of decade-old-maternity-clothes-wearing nonsense. He was standing right there with me in Motherhood and helped me pick out these darn things while I was pregnant with Carl in 2000 and freaking 1! Hello?? We have pictures in the house of me wearing that same jean skirt pregnant as all get-out with Carl and again with Annie in 2005. The damn thing has elastic on it, and he watches me put it on again and again and again! Where may I ask is the delicate yet deliberate comment of, "Sally, honey, love of my life, most amazing person in the entire world ever ... why don't you pack that maternity skirt away and try something a little more .... current?" Nope. Not a word. Instead he says I look very pretty. What?! Yes, I would look pretty if I was PREGNANT! But oh no, there he goes, letting me walk out that door wearing clothes for 2. Shameful. If you can't depend on your husband for a little reality check now and then, who can you count on? He probably wouldn't even notice if I didn't talk to him for a week afterwards.
So here I am in Way-Post-Maternity La La Land digging tops and dresses out of bags that should be packed away for friends and family, trying to see if anything still fits and being truly disappointed when something doesn't. Can you even imagine? Wanting to take a swig of wine each time that adorable little wrap-around number that I wore at 6 months, will not wrap around this mother 6 years later is disturbing. Hell, I should be drinking with thoughts like that. Drinking an Atkins Diet Shake for Cripes Sakes! Unfortunately it is goodbye maternity clothes time and I have some packing to do. I probably should feel sorry for Trey, he has been a good sport with the compliments even when I clearly did not deserve them. Wonder how long he would have let this absurd behavior go on? Maybe the real question is ... is the man blind?
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